September 2, 2013

Life of the Party

I had five “l’chaims” today and one funeral. Thankfully, one of the l’chaims for today (the sixth) was rescheduled. Each group and organization had their own distinct celebration where my involvement ranged from negligible to central, usually with little or no warning as to what my expected role would be. I warmed up with the office l’chaim with a small intimate crowd of employees and directors, the majority of whom I knew or recognized. I said a few words after the President and ran off to the funeral.

I returned to another l’chaim of which I had written on my calendar was for the social worker volunteers of the community. I came to a hall with about fifty people sitting and waiting for me. I quickly understood and confirmed that instead of the volunteers, the room was filled with the actual beneficiaries of the community social assistance. I had to quickly change the speech I had prepared regarding working for a charitable cause (don’t worry – it served me well in two other l’chaims). I said the blessing over a glass of wine and blew the shofar for the crowd. The warm-up act was an adorable group of 3^rd grade school girls who performed an Israeli dance, and I was followed by a keyboarder who played Jewish music.

I walked into the ballroom for the third l’chaim. There were about sixty middle-aged and elderly women seated at tables in a large hall. At the far end of the hall, in the middle of the head table remained one empty chair with a tall silver wine cup next to a large Challah. I made a beeline to the chair, with my large shofar in hand and spoke about Rosh Hashana, with my previously mentally rehearsed speech of the importance of personal involvement in charitable organizations besides just giving money. I said the blessing over the wine, said the blessing over the Challah, blew the shofar and ran off to my next appointment.

The fourth l’chaim was in a building I hadn’t been to before. For some reason, due to a previous related l’chaim from the week before, I was actually expecting this one to be of the small intimate variety where I wouldn’t have to do or say much. The first hint that I was mistaken was the heavy security outside the building. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised anymore when the security people don’t bother stopping me but rather escort me in. The second hint that my assumption was wrong was the number of people milling in the hallway and the person at the desk in front of the hall checking people in. Mind you, I noticed all these things out of the corner of my eye as I’m running through the hallway, intent on getting wherever I’m supposed to.

I walk into a ballroom with over 300 people sitting at round tables akin to a wedding. I kept walking, not letting myself be taken aback by the size of the audience and just let my forward momentum keep me going. The organizer motions for me to come to the microphone at the front center of the hall next to the keyboarder who I now recognize from the second l’chaim (we should have given them a package deal or something). I was about to address the beneficiaries of another charitable institution that hosts an annual pre-Rosh Hashana dinner for the needier members of the community.

I had a few seconds as the hostess introduced me to think of something appropriate to say to the individuals and families enjoying their meal. I said something that seemed to hold their attention, spoke about faith and hope and Israel and blessings for a better year. Did the wine and the challah and ran off for the next engagement.

The last one for the day was at a board meeting of one of the Jewish organizations. It was actually very interesting to be present during their discussions and it gave me more time to think of what to say to this smaller group. Speech, blessing, wine, challah and shofar.

Somehow I feel like I should now be exempt from Rosh Hoshana given the amount of speeches and blessings I’ve given, the amount of wine I’ve consumed, the amount of sweet round raisin-filled Challah I’ve eaten (which I like) and the number of times I’ve blown the shofar (which keeps getting better). But all of this is just a small preview for the main event…

Tuesday, August 28, 2013

‘Tis the Season to be Jolly…

Overnight I have become perhaps the most sought after Jew in Montevideo. It isn’t for anything that I’ve done. It isn’t even for anything I’ve said. It is simply because I exist and because I have the word “Gran” in front of my title of “Rabino”.

I have just finished two days of giving lectures throughout the day and into the night and this is just a warm up. Apparently the Jewish population of Uruguay takes its preparations for Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year) very seriously. I have been invited by a multiplicity of Jewish organizations, groups and school classes to give a pre-Rosh Hashana lecture and/or “L’chaim” (a toast – literally “to life”). I’m already booked six times for Monday – so if anybody else out there is keen on Monday, let me know soon.

It’s great fun, I’m always warmly received and I generally have a captive audience – what more can a Rabbi ask for?

While I’m finally in writing mode after a brief hiatus I thought I’d share a few items. Plans for Rosh Hashana are coming along. In just a few weeks I’ve gone from never having gotten a sound out of a shofar to doing a passable job of sounding like the guys who do it in the synagogue – there’s nothing like desperation to motivate you.

We’ve managed to change internally some of the views of the High Holidays service and have started an ad series that is reflecting what I hope is a fresh, modern, more attractive perspective that we hope will attract more people. We’ll find out soon enough.

Classically there has been a panel discussion in the synagogue the afternoon of Yom Kippur, which I’ve been told have been poorly attended. I’ve proposed what I think may be an interesting and timely discussion topic for this year: “The Jewish view on the legalization of Marijuana.” We have a contact that is a legal distributor of marijuana implements who we may invite to join the panel, together with other related professionals. We may get a slightly different crowd for the discussion than in previous years.

Having had many years of conducting Jewish informal education I am fairly comfortable in class settings and then spontaneously doing something out of the box. In most cases I avoid direct frontal lectures, but rather try to engage the audience. I’m having a lot of fun using a bagful of tricks. Yesterday I played broken telephone to illustrate the challenges of transmission (very effective). Today, students packed the back of the hall, leaving the front completely empty. I called upon the tale of the Aleinu prayer (always at the end of the prayer service) that complained to God that it’s at the end when people are already leaving the synagogue. To make up for its slighted feelings God then inserted Aleinu in the very center of the High Holiday prayers. I also mentioned the end of the Leha Dodi prayer of Friday nights when the entire congregation turns around and the back row becomes the front row for a few moments. In that spirit I forced all the students to turn their chairs around and I lectured (if one were to call it that) from the back of the hall. I think some of the kids of the back row (now in front of me) squirmed at the sudden proximity to the lecturer, but they seemed attentive enough and even participated. That is one of the benefits of being a free guest lecturer. You can have fun, do things a salaried teacher couldn’t necessarily try or risk, and if it doesn’t go well they can’t fire you or not pay you. I am invited back to give another lecture tomorrow so I guess I can keep experimenting…

My original thought when planning these multiple lectures was to give the same basic themes over and over again. It was different audiences each time, so why not? However, in many of the cases, some of the same teachers were around for the second or third lecture and I felt some pity for them to have to hear the same thing again. Then I realized that I didn’t want to say or hear the same thing again either as it would be boring for me. So I’ve ended up giving almost completely different lectures every single time (with some overlap of themes). So besides the standard themes of repentance, kingship of God, reward and punishment, God’s mercy versus justice, Judgment Day, introspection, asking forgiveness, ritual commandments versus social ones, blessings and curses, stages of repentance, levels of expiation of sin (repentance, suffering, Yom Kippur, death), second chances and more, I’ve also tackled the centrality of the Belief in God, the creation of the world and the age of the universe, the dynamics of the Divine justice system, the challenges of the Israeli Rabbinate, pre-nuptial agreements, concerns of chemical attacks upon Israel and more.

One other thing I’ve learned, and this goes against what many Rabbis say and are told is the topic of stories. I’ve been told that people love stories. Always insert a story. I’m discovering, at least with a small vocal group of people, is that they are sick and tired of stories. Stories are overused, abused, misused. They’ve heard the stories already. They don’t want to hear any more stories. A small personal intimate anecdote perhaps, but a boilerplate Hasidic story? Forget about it. They’ve been saturated with stories. They’re already tuning them out the second you say “Once upon a time.”

Jokes still work though. Not out of style yet. Anyway, time to get some sleep during this short calm before the High Holiday storm.

August 8, 2013

Short Interim Report

So much to tell, so little time to write! The move was a major effort (not over yet). The trip to Montevideo and then our short jaunts to Buenos Aires and Punta del Este were fantastic and event filled. The children’s first days at school have been blessed and Tamara is entering into her important role in school while trying to make sure we have something to eat at night using a minimum of kitchen tools (not that I could name the implements she uses to do her magic – spatula? That’s the flat thing?)

A visual record of some of the above can be found on Tamara’s Facebook page (who needs to talk when you have Facebook?)

In my work, we are in high gear getting ready for the High Holidays. I’m also dealing with the local bureaucracy and in a strange twist of logic I went to get a tetanus shot in order to release our incoming container from customs. You see, I can only bring in a container (tax-free) if I’m going to reside here. If I’m going to reside I need resident status. In order to get resident status I need to have a clean bill of health. In order to have a clean bill of health, besides checking height, weight, blood-pressure, blood and urine and answering some health questions I need to be up-to-date on my tetanus shots. Ergo, I needed a tetanus shot to release my possessions from customs.

I hope to write in more depth about a lot of the above, but the sands of time are slipping through my fingers and I’m only sending this brief post to assure readers that we are still alive and very well in our unfolding adventure in the Southern Hemisphere.

Until the next report!